New blog, first post, hello
I can tell without a calendar that it has been about one year since I have returned from my trip. The rhododendrons were blooming right I as came back, and yesterday I saw the same bush, same colors, flowering again. I am writing on this new site rather than continuing the shared blog because for those unaware, I am no longer betrothed.
Although I am not embarking on worldly travels at the moment, I want to continue writing and sharing stories and thoughts with those important to me. I think I have a different intention this time as well. Rather than orate events and happenings in a documentative way (which I certainly have a tendency to do), I want to write more personally, and share narratives inspired by my experiences or things others have shared with me. I want to elicit comments, discussions, thoughts, phone calls, or web searches. More communication and understanding is always a good thing. And not necessarily with me, but sparking a reference in conversation between a friend and someone I will never meet. The web of connections is enormous. Interactions, perspectives, and positivity can reach much farther than anticipated or intended, no matter how small.
That being said, I will undoubtedly write lists/infodump things regularly. I like information, learning, and sharing information, and this is something that will hopefully never change.
I will very briefly fill in since the last blog post, sequentially. I went to India with [REDACTED] which was incredible. And hot! Bounced over to Shanghai for a few days to visit with family, and would later learn that was the last time I spoke with my maternal grandmother. Returned to the US, visited [REDACTED], then returned home home.
[REDACTED] and [REDACTED] cooking pineapple and cashew payasam, a sweet dessert, the traditional way over a fire
A typical lunch at the [REDACTED] household: a few dishes, matta rice, maybe a pappadam or appam bread, and cumin water
The view from the top of the hill looking down to Kakolem beach in Goa
My uncle cooking tomato egg for me at 2AM after landing in Shanghai
Playing Go/Weiqi/Baduk with [REDACTED] with his cat [REDACTED] intently watching me
Returned to work, moved into a house, started settling down, etc. Then, the end of January brought an amount of emotion I have never experienced before: the rather shocking unengagement, immediately followed by the hospitalization, passing, and burial of my paternal grandmother, all within a week. I feel changed in ways better perceived and described by others than said myself. [REDACTED] started coming up in my dreams again more regularly. I can say that my eyes wet much easier than before. And I aspire to be more grateful, positive, and compassionate. I do not want to imagine the time when it is my parents or brother.
I am not a spiritual person in any capacity, but I can understand the sentiment of lost loved ones watching over you. However, instead of them watching over you from the afterlife, I view them as part of you. You have memories, things they taught you, phrases, recipes, hobbies, clothing, decorations, goals. Humility, compassion, confidence, empathy, generosity, wisdom. These and others were given to you through their time and influence on your life. They are now yours to remember, command, and share with others.
My great grandmother 太太
Grandpa [REDACTED] and G-ma [REDACTED]
外公和外婆和妈妈和大哥
As a basic update, I am still working for the same solar company doing engineering work, fully remote, with a lot of flexibility. It really is gainful employment; I enjoy the work, coworkers, and impacts of the work. As I learn and improve my abilities to manage stress, avoid burnout, and foster good balance, it really seems like a sustainable and fulfilling long term occupation and company. A horse farm in [REDACTED], a cabinetry warehouse in [REDACTED], and a university resident hall in [REDACTED] will all have solar power, maybe before the end of the year, in part due to my work contributions. Exciting stuff, but these big projects have a weight and responsibility to them that kind of scares me. I used to be relatively detached on the sales side with basic designs, financial stuff, and helping win these intangible bids. But now these funny plans that started as a few PDFs are being reviewed, approved, built, and commissioned. Lots of money is being SPENT. Very weird, something I need to get used to.
Right now, I am mostly focusing on the basics: eating, working, being kind, and having fun. Though I naturally drift and get pulled towards too many hobbies and interests that vie for my time and attention, I am trying to be mindful of what is really important to me and invest more into that, as well as continually be grateful and aware of the basics.
More to come in the future about activities, books, paintings, bicycles, and whatever else, but I think that is enough for my first post. Take care.
- [REDACTED]